garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
