his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
