I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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