Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
