I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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