yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my being single is dangerous.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
