haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
