You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Success! We fucked roommates!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
