We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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