Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
