I wanna passion pit in your ass
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
