he shaved USA in his pubs
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
