drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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