you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
