Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
