Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
