you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
