watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Alive.
So much puke
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
