and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
