Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
