i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
