i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
