Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
