I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
