Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
