Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
