Nicole vs. Life
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she looked like the before picture.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Your shirt... Was in my pants
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
