I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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