So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
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We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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