so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize