it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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