i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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