and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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