how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
