It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
