im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
