any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
