dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
