I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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