Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
