the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
