When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
