can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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