drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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