I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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