I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
