he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize