Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
