Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
