Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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