That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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