So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize