Small penises have feelings too.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
