that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
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