I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
