I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize