I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
