OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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