He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
